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Mary-Sue Academy of Suewarts

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(11 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Note for those attending my class [02 May 2004|08:09am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Those students who have familiars, please tell me. The next class will be on befriending magical animals, and I'd like to talk to you about your familiars, so as to have a board to start the class form.

Thank you,
Professor Firelight

(sparkle by)

In the common room... [19 Apr 2004|12:56pm]

[ mood | nervous ]

Mnemosyne walked into the common room uncertainly, glancing back to see if she could see where Professor Firelight had gone. With no luck, she took a light seat on a blue-draped chair, and studied her ivory-and-midnight surroundings, waiting for someone else to return to the Maeroris room.

(1 mary-sue |sparkle by)

booze, here I come! [15 Apr 2004|07:29am]

Spike struts out of the castle and takes an unexpected turn for Firelight's lodge. Jacket settling around his ankles and white-blond hair stark against his black outfit, Spike knocks on the door.

(2 mary-sues |sparkle by)

To Spike [13 Apr 2004|06:24pm]

[ mood | calm ]

PrivateCollapse )

(15 mary-sues |sparkle by)

New Sorting... [06 Apr 2004|09:21am]

The Hall was silent, dust motes dancing in rays of light. It was utterly deserted in favour of classes and common rooms. No-one witnessed the tiny, slender girl enter, eyes downcast.
Her rosebud lips never smiled, no longer, and her huge, innocent eyes spoke of grief too poignant to express in mere words. A pink, tissuey dress adorned her lovely form. She was a picture of childlike beauty, grace and sorrow.
Unknowing, she made her way slowly across the hall, her sandels tapping lightly on the floor. All the hall contained was a hat on a stool. Sighing softly, as there was seemingly no other option, she lifted the hat onto her pink ringletted hair.

'Well,' murmered a voice in her ear. 'Desert River Senshi. Mnemosyne, am I correct?'

"Yes," she gasped, her voice lifting. "Why? Do you know where Lethe is?"

'I am sorry,' said the hat unconvincingly. 'No. I only sort students to a house. And you...you may be beautiful but all I can feel in your mind is that sorrow, the sorrow at the loss of your love, of your home, and of your life. Has to be Maeroris!'

Mnemosyne lifted the hat from her head. There seemed to be nothing more to say. Perfect fingers clutching her River staff tightly, all she could do was stand, faint tears in her eyes, wondering what to do next...

(31 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Uh oh. [05 Apr 2004|07:07pm]

[ mood | scared ]

The plothole was moving, and not away from the party of four who were looking for a professor.

A lemon-nut cookie (A/N: AHAHA INUENDOE!!!!11XD) fell from Yumi's plate as they walked. A firm believer in the five second rule, Yumi grumbled and bent to pick it up. She saw the plothole out of the corner of her eye. If a swirling vortex could look hungry, it did.

"GYAAAAAA!! Nigero nigeroooo!!!"

(10 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Lost in the Hall of Wishes... [01 Apr 2004|04:10pm]

[ mood | AGH!!! OMGWTFBBQ! ]

Lady strode down the candlelit halls, missing the stone figures carved on the walls turning their once-immobile faces to her. Faint glows were beginning to shine from underneath the doors. Lady's pace briskened unconciously. She wondered is anyone had found her letter yet and realised she was lost in...this place. Wherever *that* was. She steeled her heart and strode on. After all, there had to be a way out eventually.

The faintest of whispers caused her to turn and stare hard at one particular door. She couldn't quite make out the words, but the voice was amazingly high pitched. She thrust her staff at the door, which shimmered and suddenly swung open. Lady stepped back, but there was nothing beyond the door except a faint outline of some outlandish room...and a person sitting, looming large. Suddenly a voice rang out, loud and clear.

(A/N: I always totally wanted WINGS! OMG how Kewl!!!11)

Huge, feathery wings sprouted suddenly from Lady's slender shoulders. She spun, a shriek welling in her throat, and stared at the flapping appendages. Then, slowly at first but gaining speed, she began to jog away from the door.

In front of her, another door opened and a similar, high pitched female voice rang out.

(A/N: Violet eyes wuld looook, SPESHUL!!!eleven!!111)

A mirror appeared in front of Lady, enough to give her a brief glimpse of her beautiful, wide green eyes changing to a lurid purple colour. On the upside, at least the wings were falling out, feather by feather, creating a trail of white behind her.

Lady was a smart girl. This was not a place to stay.

She ran.

(9 mary-sues |sparkle by)

End of Evil and Villainy Lesson 1 [30 Mar 2004|04:49pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Kel'Thuzad glared at the students sitting in front of him.
"Some of you have shown great potential in this class, for that, I am greatly pleased" He rasped "Some of you however, will not be passing to the next year in this class. You know who you are and I suggest you try considerably harder next lesson. You have the whole school year to improve, surprise me." With that, the doors swung open, indicating that the students should leave.

When all the students had left, Kel'Thuzad briefly rested, floating there for a few moments. Then, he turned to the direction of the doorway.
"Yumi Starseeker!" He roared "Get in here! Now!"

(13 mary-sues |sparkle by)

[25 Mar 2004|07:53pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Thyre, having opted out of Evil and Villainy, and knowing nothing of any "Plothole" that may be roaming the school, is wandering. With his hands in his pockets and Esprit a step or two behind him, he hums a little to himself, glancing around and sniffing the air curiously.

"I'm bored," he sighs as he slips into the Hall.

(19 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Plotholes galore [25 Mar 2004|01:15pm]

[ mood | busy ]

Headmistress Arabella glowered as she stalked the corridors. Truthfully, things were going rather well - the school year had begun, classes were running relatively smoothly, and no students appeared to have been eaten by horrors from beyond the void (yet). But she always felt that at this stage of the year, it was wise to keep up appearances.

She toyed with an elegant purple wand as she walked - not her usual wand, which appeared so dark an ebony it could have been fashioned from the very substance of the darkest halls of night. No, the purple wand that she carried now was the Wand of Purplest Prose - a deceptively prosaic name, as it were. Arabella had finally taken pity on the students who had been cursed with Netspeak, and decided to restore them to their original state using the Purple Wand - purple prose, of course, being the polar opposite of netspeak.

So after visiting her personal safe and stores to retrieve the wand, she took a moment to detour and check the safety of another stockpile - the Hall of Plotholes.

Many people are aware that Sues travel by plothole, much in the same way that mundane wizards apparate. And similarly, plotholes offer a multiplicity of ways to injure, maim or lose one-self in bizarre ways, and thus the plotholes were kept under lock and key at all times. Or at least, they should have been.

The glowing green door that normally stood strong against the contents within hung weakly from one hinge.

"Not again!" exclaimed Arabella. "We need a stronger door..."

Peering carefully within, wand at the ready, she took stock of the damage. Thankfully, most of the plotholes still remained within their warded containers on the wall. The Headmistress donned a pair of the Incorporeal Gloves routinely used to handle the holes, and explored.

To the right of the door, she found the exploded container that had no doubt blown the door open. A singular plothole appeared to have escaped into the school - no more. Sighing to herself, the Headmistress tried to decide what to do.

"Cure the students, or catch the plothole? Plotholes are such damnable nuisances to track...it was merely a training Plothole - I'm sure it will be significantly easier for me to wait for it to turn up than to waste time searching for it myself. And this curse really must be remedied."

Having made up her mind, she strode from the room, quickly finding her way through the school, searching for the cursed students. At one point, she grabbed a passing student, and spoke to them.

"Please go straight to whichever of Professors Black, Lu or Undomiel you can find, and inform them that a Plothole is loose in the school. As soon as I have dealt with the Netspeak cursed students, I shall join them to deal with it."

Reaching the Great Hall, she finally gave up searching and decided to use the magical address system present there.

"Would all student who wish to be cured of the Netspeak affliction please assemble in the Great Hall."

(26 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Evil and Villainy lesson I [24 Mar 2004|05:49pm]

[ mood | cold ]

Students began to file in to the frigid classroom, sitting down at their seats. On their desks were padded, wooly coats. Some students eagerly put them on while others refused to give up their leather coats (after all they had just left a lesson on the Bad-Ass arts). The black torches glimmered with emerald green fire as the student's glanced around at the massive stone hall, made of a glimmering stone of dark, sinister green. At the front of the classroom was an empty pulpit of ebony and a dark variation of emerald. A blackboard floated behind it of its own accord. But most striking of all was the aura of coldness and death.

When all the students had entered, Professor Kel'Thuzad himself swept in, causing the classroom temperature to sharply drop as he quickly stormed up to the pulpit.
"There shall be no foolish wand-waving or incantations in this class" He told the students calmly, his chilling voice reaching even the farthest corners of the hall "As it is, I don't expect many of you to pass my end of year examination. Evil requires natural aptitude that I'm afraid very few of you possess" He waved his skeletal hand and a list scrawled itself on the board.
"There are many different types of evil and I expect you to learn which one you...or the mortal nemesis you have created for yourself...uses best"

"Crazy Evil" He barked at the students "Mindless killing, the destruction of villages"

"Insane Evil" He continued "Gibbering to yourself, the games of life and death and death and death! The mind of a genius, warped by insanity"

"Sinister Evil" He called "My personal favorite, it is cold, calm and collected. It plans its conquests and executes them perfectly"

"Petty Evil" He finished "Vengeance, stealing, killing just one person to achieve personal peace"

"All evil and villainous tendancys can fit into this category, if you do not learn them you will fail this class and in turn fail as a sue!" He warned them "Now, who can name any examples of these four? "

(sparkle by)

Close of Lesson 1 [24 Mar 2004|09:30am]

[ mood | amused ]

Near the door Spike looks back over his shoulder at the class and says, "Class dismissed. If you want to prepare for the next class go look at the course outline." With that he left the room, his long coat billowing in his wake.

(1 mary-sue |sparkle by)

re: Bad Ass Arts: Lesson 1 [20 Mar 2004|04:32pm]

[ mood | blah ]

Gammi raised his hand the hesitated and lowered it. Do Bad Asses raise their hands?

"Sir? Uh, Spike? Sir?" Because that is so much more Bad Assed. "How can you be a Hero and not rescue puppies or children?"

(11 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Bad Ass Arts: Lesson 1 [20 Mar 2004|04:10pm]

[ mood | amused ]

The room is stark and bare. It is impossible to tell if it is because Spike is lazy, or just doesn't care to decorate. Or maybe that's what he wants you to think. Either way, the room is unlike the other classrooms.

The decor isn't the only thing that sets it apart. It's the room's occupant. He oozes a sense of malice and nonchalance at the same time. His boot-clad feet are propped up on the desk as he leans back into his chair. He ignores the students as they file in, content to take drags off his cigarette.

The bell (or whatever they use to signal classes) rings, and Spike continues to sit. He smirks as a few of the less confident students fidget. Blowing the last of the smoke out through his nose, Spike stands up and stalks about the room.

"Now," he says. His voice is low and dangerous. "All of you here want to learn how to be a Bad Ass. Many Sues and Stus want to be a Bad Ass, but most go too far, or don't go far enough. It's a fine line to walk, and you've got to learn to walk it without thinking about it."

Spike, now back to the front of the room, launched himself onto the desk. He all but sprawled on it. "You can be a hero, or a villain. It doesn't matter. Hell, you can even be a little old lady. What does matter is that you aren't nice. You've got to be cutting, nasty, uncaring. No saving puppies, or small children. Nothing gets between you and your mission."

Spike jumped down from the desk and went to a drawer. He pulled out a file for each person in the class. "There's too much to actually being a Bad Ass to put into words. It's in the way you look, the way you act, the way you think."

He hands out the folders and in them each student finds these pictures. Bad Ass MastersCollapse )

"Study these people. They're some of the best at what they do, and they do it well. These people should give you some idea about what I'm talking about when I say 'Bad Ass.' Any questions?" Spike tilts his head and quirks his eyebrow.

(OOC: *sigh* As a lot of the picts aren't working go here to see the other ones. Stupid little red x's)

(sparkle by)

End of Fellowship Class 1 [20 Mar 2004|12:03am]

"Now students," Professor Firelight said, "you have all been very good today, and as it's the first lesson I won't give you any homework. However, it's getting late and you all need to be off, so those who have questions for myself or Moonwind, or are in need of familiars, or anything else I can help you with, please come back when you get a chance."

(OOC- Those who were in the middle of conversations, take them up again here. This will just be a time for all students to come and ask questions, talk, whatever. There'll be a new one each lesson.)

(5 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Caniculae Common Room [19 Mar 2004|10:55am]

Omega looked around the common room that Professor Firelight had led her to. It seemed to have quite a bit in the way of spikes and not all that much in the way of comfort. She looked through two doorways, one of them clearly marked 'Stus' and the other 'Sues'.

Obviously the dorms, then. I think I shall wait and see if anyone else is around. I should get to know my classmates and see how evil they actually are.

She dropped gracefully onto the floor in front of the green-burning fire. She pulled the pins out of her hair and let it tumble to the floor, swathing herself in a seeming cloak of darkness.

Omega supposed that most of the people were at class, and she didn't feel like going prowling. The common room was just right for now, and she sat in front of the fire and waited.

(34 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Fellowship class 1 [18 Mar 2004|09:33am]

[ mood | calm ]

As the students arrived at the door to Professor Firelight's cottage, a small sign pointed them around back. When they reached there, Professor Firelight was in the middle of a small obstacle course, which used all the elements as obstacles. She was riding Moonwind, who, upon seeing the students, stopped and took her over to them. As the teacher slid off the back of the horse, her dragon familiar, Florian, alighted on her shoulder and looked out at the students, an inquisitive expression on his snout.

"Welcome to Fellowship with Magical Creatures," said Professor Firelight. "You already know me, I am your teacher, Professor Firelight. This is my familiar, Florian, and my friend and companion, Moonwind." She gestured to the dragon and horse, the latter nodding his head in greeting.

"Today we shall have an introduction of sorts. Throughout history, Muggles and Magic-folk alike have known of the existance of creatures that are magical in nature. Modern muggles seem to have decided that there are few or no magical animals in existance. They don't believe in the dragon, the unicorn, or any number of others.

Now, as you know there are four basic elements, earth, air, fire, and water. Magical creatures tend to dwell in one of these particular elements. For example, the phoenix deals in fire, the hippocampus in water. The unicorn is generally a beast of the earth, but sometimes of the water as well, for with its horn, it can purify the element. The air belongs to flying beasts, so sometimes animals belong to other elements as well. The dragon, for example, is of the air as well as the fire.

We shall cover the elements and one of the more powerful animals that belongs to each. If you ever have anything to add to questions to ask, feel free to do so."

It was at this point that Moonwind chose to speak, in a voice that echoed in the minds of all present. I am Moonwind, as you know. At times, I shall be assisting your teacher, for I have picked up strange things in my wanderings. I am a horse, but also am also able to do some small magics. I too shall be available for questions, and can usually be found in the small "stable" beside the cottage.

"Now, any questions, comments, etc?" asked Professor Firelight.

OOC noteCollapse )

(3 mary-sues |sparkle by)

[17 Mar 2004|09:38pm]

"Sweeeet! It's silver."

Ah, the first words uttered by our newest Suewarts student-to-be.

... worried yet?

Gammi slipped into the hall, grinning and shaking a bit of rain out of his hair before pausing and getting a good look at the hat. It matched his hair. Cool. He 'Ported on over to it and without missing a beat smushed the thing down on his head.

Well. Demon, eh? That certainly qualifies you for being evil but you aren't bitchy. Not a drop of angst either. Pretty but you'd probably hit on the intire House. And brains? What brains?


Shush. I geuss the only place for you is.... Caniculae!

The half-demon grimaced and ripped the hat off his head. Caniculae? He couldn't even pronounce it!!

(6 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Omega's Entrance [17 Mar 2004|02:37pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

The wind was howling as a dark figure appeared mysteriously on the steps of Suewarts. She walked slowly up the steps and opened the door. The hall was cold, even icy, but the temperature didn't affect her.

The Great Hall was nearly empty at this time of night, although the Sorting Hat still glimmered magically at the far end.

The girl looked at it and wrinkled her forehead. "Silver. It just had to be silver," she muttered.

She was almost certain to which house she would be sorted. She was, after all, one of the greatest villainesses inside or outside of the Kosmos. At least, before she had been stuck in this void-forsaken body.

She stalked over to the hat and slipped it on her head, not startled at the strange, buzzing but still melodious voice that filled her ears.

Well, you're evil, of course, and you've got a snark sense to match. Totally pitiless, eh? Coldly beautiful, but not beautiful enough for Venustas. Intelligent enough for Persapientis, not enough angst for Maeroris, although you've got a good bit there. I'm going to put you into... CANICULAE.

She was startled by the shout, and pulled the hat off. She had (although she wouldn't admit it) no idea how to get to Caniculae house, so she sat down and waited for someone to point her in the right direction.

(5 mary-sues |sparkle by)

Angstmancy class finish. [17 Mar 2004|05:14pm]

When the last student had introduced themselves, Lucia nodded and stood up once more.

"I don't have anything else planned for thios class," she said. "I cannot really begin to teach you the fundamentals of Angstmancy until you have learnt to fix your tragic life in your head, to the exclusion of everything else.

For homework tonight, I would like every one of you to find a quiet place and sit for half an hour, concentrating on your angsty past. If you can induce yourself to tears, that is a very good sign. I need you also to practice setting aside your angst afterward. This is especially important for non-Maeroris students whose psyches could probably not handle being stuck in a perpetual state of angst."

"Finally, the first person who can tell me at the beginning of next lesson the literal meaning of the word 'angstmancy' and what languages it comes from will get ten points for their house.

"Class dismissed." As the students filed out, many looking shellshocked, Lucia smiled sadly and wondered if she would have to counterspell anyone that night who had gotten themselves stuck in angst. In her Suewarts year, there had been five non-Maeroris students who had been unable to forget their angst, having focused on it for thirty minutes. Oh well. If such a case occured, the HEadmistress would let her know.

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